[65] うら (Ura)

 Poem Meaning and Background

Manga panel from the manga "Skip Beat"

うらみわび・ほさぬそでだに・あるものを
urami wabi・hosanu sode da ni・aru mono o

こひにくちなむ・なこそをしけれ

koi ni kuchinan・na koso oshi kere

〜相模（Sagami）

Translation

Even when your hate

Makes me stain my sleeves with tears

In cold misery,

Worse than hate and misery

Is the loss of my good name.

Meaning

This poem was written as an entry in a poetry contest by the author when she was in her 50's. It's thought that she drew upon her own life (and love) experience to help her write this poem. This poem is about the heartbreak of a woman whose lover doesn't come to meet her, so the speaker of the poem cries day after day, leaving her kimono sleeve permanently wet with her tears. However, what is worse than her kimono being ruined is the fact that her own reputation has also been left in tatters. The poem reflects the woman's heartbreak along with her frustration and bitterness towards the man who broke her heart. 

The phrase 干さぬ袖だに(hosanu sode da ni) means essentially "sleeves which do not dry". Since people in that time period used kimono sleeves to dry their tears, poets from this period often use "wet sleeves" as shorthand for crying. In this case, the author is crying so much that her kimono sleeve has no time to dry. The author also uses the phrase 朽ちる(kuchiru), which means literally to rot or decay, to refer to both her kimono and her reputation being ruined. 

Author

Sagami (998~1068) was married to Ooe no Kinyori, the provincial governor of Sagami (located in modern day Kanagawa Prefecture), which is where her name derives from. After getting divorced from her former husband, she ended up serving Prince Shūshi, one of the sons of Emperor Ichijō.