[63] いまは (Imawa)

 Poem Meaning and Background

Screenshot of the anime "Violet Evergarden"

いまはただ・おもひたえなむ・とばかりを
ima wa tada・omoi taenan・ to bakari wo

ひとづてならで・いふよしもがな

hito-zute nara de・iu yoshi mo gana

〜 左京大夫道雅（Sakyō no Daibu Michimasa）

Translation

Is there any way

Except by a messenger

To send these words to you?

If I could, I'd come to you

To say goodbye forever

Meaning

This poem is the result of a forbidden love between the author and the daughter of Emperor Sanjō, Princess Masako, (also referred to as 当子内親王, Tōshinai Shinnō in Japanese). The princess was a priestess at Ise Shrine, and when her father found out about his daughter's affair with Michimasa, he forbid Michimasa from meeting with her. Through this poem, he wants to express that he has given up on his feelings for her, but he laments that he cannot express this to her in person. 

思ひ絶えなむ (omoi taenan) means that the author plans to break off their relationship. 人づてならで (hito-zute narade) means "not by messenger". いふよしもがな (iu yoshi mo gana) means "if only there were some way to say (this)", with よし meaning "a way (to do something)", and もがな(mo gana) expressing a strong wish. 

Author

Fujiwara no Michimasa (992~1054) was a poet and noble in the mid-Heian period. His title, 左京大夫(Sakyō no Daibu) refers to his position in the imperial court. He famously had an affair with Imperial Princess Masako, the daughter of the retired Emperor Sanjō, and was barred from seeing her, which is said to be the background for this poem. He was also the nephew of Empress Fujiwara no Teishi, who was married to Emperor Ichijō.